One of the most life-changing books for me was "The Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner. Among the many valuable teachings in this book is that when you create change within yourself you leave no option but for the people around you to choose to change in response to the new ways you are being...or to choose to exit. Evolving is inevitable though choosing to do so allows for a much more manageable and comfortable journey. It will create a ripple that affects others around you. Some may not be ready...they may resent it, fight it, sabotage it, ignore it and they may just filter out of your life naturally. Yet others may feel relieved by it, welcome it with open arms, may feel inspired by it, and recognize your value. I'm not one to believe that you turn your back on people who aren't where you expect them to be. If they are in the group who aren't on board with you becoming better, let love and light be your focus, set boundaries when they challenge or sabotage, limit your time with them, or shift them into an acquaintance circle of friends that allows you to protect this new beautiful you. Stay rooted in your evolutionary process, just maybe you will become their example when they do become ready to evolve themselves. The people around you who support you and build you up...be eternally grateful to have them in your lives, value those people, nurture those relationships, know that they are the ones to look to for inspiration. #Alignwithlove. Evolve.
This quote inspired memories about the process of allowing pain. It’s true, fighting, avoiding, denying, projecting, and drowning our pain only begets more pain. Owning it...really owning it is the only way to move through it. Thinking of my process...a beautiful thing happened once I began to acknowledge my pain. Inside a moment I was experiencing an anxiety/panic attack, while my mind jumped from one option of escape to another, I asked out loud “what the hell am I supposed to do with this?” and the answer that came was, “sit with it ...FEEL it” I was damn near panting with panic, trying to focus intellectually, fighting the urge to escape thinking, “really?” “Feel it?... How very rudimentary.” That realization changed my life. I literally sat down and began to breathe through the experience, fought every inclination to run, to avoid, to reach for something for distraction, to eat, to jump on the treadmill...a cigarette came to mind and I hadn’t even smoked for years. I apparently had a very ingrained ability to not feel. Anxiety and panic were, for me, the trigger to let me know that the feelings I didn’t want to face were headed my way. Sit and feel. Sit and listen. No judgment and no escape. No getting caught up in my head, thinking my way away from it...intellectualizing my way away from it. An amazing thing happens when you stop trying to escape your pain. You get strong, I mean really strong. The kind of strength that stands solid in a tsunami strong. You get comfortable with life, you get to stop pretending (which btw is exhausting burning up so much energy there's little left to be productive in life) you began to allow yourself the imperfection of being human and discover that strength is in acceptance, strength is in flexibility, and the ability to go with the flow. Life is so much more exciting and filled with love and joy and success when you aren’t fighting. # breathe #alignwithlove #center and look for beauty in everything and everyone, it’s certainly there. #journal #sharesomesoul #soulshare #evolve #evolvetogether #earthschooling #earthschoolharmony #earthschool #peacefulwarrior #peacefulwarriorwoman #bethepeace #cultivateselflove
I learned a long time ago that no matter what I do, or how I word things, or how perfect I try to be there is always going to be a layer of perception mixed in from those with whom I am interacting. Each perception shadowed and filtered by the lifetime of experiences of the person perceiving. You aren't responsible for other people's triggers. No more than they are responsible for yours. We are all responsible for choosing self-awareness over sticking our head in the sand, for choosing to respond rather than react. I, as are we all, am responsible for managing, processing, and growing from the things that cause me emotion of any kind. I am not responsible for what others choose to think of me. I am very much responsible for bringing the best of who I am to the table as much as possible. It's none of my business what another person thinks of me. With that I say, as always, breath, center, #alignwithlove, be kind, be aware, and evolve with each opportunity.
#alignwithlove #rippleeffect #bethechange #manifest #bethepeace #meditate #seekingchange #getcentered #heal #evolve #thetimeisnow #create
At some point, you have to stop giving the benefit of the doubt and allow yourself to believe what you already know. The truth hurts but living in denial hurts much much longer. Get centered, breath, #alignwithlove, surround yourself with loving support and a path to move forward from, and then rip the band-aid off. Allow yourself to evolve, heal, and create a better version of yourself. #thetimeisnow.
#Getcentered #breath #alignwithlove #evolve #heal, #create #thetimeisnow
I find this to be a very powerful statement. And I am reminded of some lessons learned...still fine-tuning. Often times we seek out others to confirm what we already know. Trust yourself. If they weren't there, didn't hear, didn't feel the energy in the room, didn't see the micro-expressions they couldn't possibly have a better take on that moment. Stepping outside of yourself for the answers only conditions self-doubt. Breath deep, #alignwithlove, turn your awareness to your body, and pay attention. A tightening tells you something isn't right. A feeling of peace coming over you, a feeling of love or joyfulness ...that says it all right there. Practice this as much as possible in meditation, as a way to seek guidance from your higher self or your inner divinity. Take it a step further by practicing before and during important meetings, times of crisis. Breath, #alignwithlove, turn your attention inward, and listen. ✌️